Love is forever
by Feathers of the wind
Summary: HEY GUYS!!! I am back to the wonderful world of Escaflowne Fan fiction!! two new chapters uploaded!!*07.14.02*
1. Memories and Dreams

**~*A/N:11.21.01- Hey everyone! I got this really good inspiration for another story! I'll still be working on my other story (Could this be love?), but I want to at least get started on this one. This IS a V/H fic. please don't flame me.   
~Feathers of the Wind~***

Love is forever

**Chapter 1: Memories and Dreams**

_* Flashback*_

_We were in a forest clearing, being guarded by the legendary god of protection, Escaflowne. I remember not wanting to leave, but at the same time... I knew I had to. I stared into his auburn eyes for maybe the last time, trying to capture it's essence, and have it etched into my mind forever. God how I loved him.... Right now, he is looking at me with love and warmth...must I leave now? We embraced, and I really wished I could stay with him, to stay in his safe, warm embrace forever. I even expressed so. But he said: ' we can see each other any time we want'. I felt disappointed.... but I tried to look happy. I gave him my pendant, and was sent back to my world, leaving the wonderful world of dreams and wishes behind._

_*End flash back*_

It was a gross, drab day in Japan, raining like there was no tomorrow, gray skies and all. Everyone felt miserable and wished the bad weather would stop. One person however, didn't mind at all. A young woman of 16 with shoulder-length brown hair and green emerald eyes walked down the street, eyes downcast. At one time, her eyes would always sparkle with a life and warmth that everyone loved. But, she had mysteriously disappeared, and when she returned, the light from her eyes had gone. Her cream-coloured uniform was sticking to her since she was walking in the heavy downpour of rain, but it seemed like she either didn't notice or didn't care. When she finally got home, she didn't say a word, and walked up to her room. 

Hitomi got changed, and sat on her bed for a moment. _I'll never forget you Van, even when I'm old.  
"_Why can't I forget him?" She asked herself. _Because you love him. _A voice in her head answered. Tears shimmered in her eyes for a moment, then dripped down her cheeks, falling to her lap. Hitomi lay down on her bed, sobbing for everything. 

Why had I come back? I could've stayed with him... I could've been happy. I am so lonely without him... he's the air I breathe, the water I drink, he's my life, my everything! I am so stupid! 

So the girl with emerald eyes and brown hair cried for what could've been, the shattered dreams and happiness. 

**~*A/N: You don't hate me yet, do you? LOL.... I know this was short, but what do you think of this so far? Please R&R!!  
~Feathers of the wind~***


	2. The Lonely King of Fanelia

**~*A/N: 12.10.01 Hi hi!! Another chapter... YAY!!!! ~Feathers of the Wind~***

Love is forever

**Chapter 2: The lonely King of Fanelia**

It had been 1 whole year since that mysterious girl from the Mystic Moon had come into his life and changed it for the better. He had been way to arrogant and sure of himself, before she came and literally knocked some sense into him. At first it had shocked him, as no one had dared to slap him 3 times across the face. But, the second she had done so, she earned his immediate respect. 

Van Fanel, King of Fanelia was sitting up on the roof of his newly rebuilt castle at night, staring up at the stars. He was dressed in the usual tan pants and red shirt. His hair was still as unruly as ever, but he had a more muscular frame since we last saw him. His reddish-brown eyes still held the warmth and fire that gave him life, but they also held sadness, regret. Van closed his eyes and breathed in the warm air smelling of wild flowers and grass. Memories flashed through his mind, of the girl with chestnut hair and sparkling green eyes. Opening his eyes again, Van stared at the Mystic Moon.

"Hitomi... I hope that you're happy. I wonder how you're doing... I'm doing ok I guess. I wish you were here, I miss you." Van gently muttered to himself. True, that day she left, he thought it was the right thing to do. After all, she didn't come intentionally and she did have her own world...and family to return to. Van wasn't just going to take away from her family, as fate had done to him. But he loved her so much, that just thinking about her made him go into some sort of trance. He was a little sad, without her around, but the thought that she might return gave him hope to be happy. 

"I know this is probably selfish...but Hitomi... I wish you had never left. I wish you could be here with me...I love you." He whispered into the warm summer night air. He stood up and walked back into her room through a window and tried to sleep happy dreams to keep him sane. 

~~~~~****************************~~~~~ 

_He was in a field, the sun was shining and the gentle breeze sent flower petals around. _

_"What am I doing here?" Van wondered as he looked around._

_"My son, I have only a few moments to speak with you." Van gasped and turned around, to face his mother._

_"Mother....?" Varie Fanel smiled gently at her youngest son._

_" This will interest you greatly, as it includes... Hitomi Kanzaki." As suspected, Van's attention was at 100%. _

_" Hitomi will come back to Gaea...soon. I cannot describe everything, but there lies a challenge ahead of you. You must not let your feelings, temper or your love for Hitomi blind you. I'm warning you now, so please beware! I am always watching over you... please be careful, I love you." Varie, the late Queen of Fanelia disappeared, leaving Van alone. _

_"Hitomi's coming back...I can't believe it." Van smiled, and felt himself being pulled back into the real world. _

~~~~~*************************************~~~~~

Van opened his eyes to his room which was dimly lit by the early morning sunrise. 

"Could it be true? Hitomi might be coming back?" Van tried not to put his hopes on it, in case it was just a dream. 

When Van entered the dining room for breakfast later that morning, everyone noted his was much happier looking.

"Lord Van? Have you been knocking your head against the wall... again?" Merle timidly asked.

"Actually... well, no. I just feel happier today." Van beamed. Merle avoided his eyes, and began examining her nail file. 

"Merle? What's wrong?" Merle looked at him sadly.

"You might want to get into your bad/sad mood again... your advisors are trying to get you to marry someone."

**~*A/N: Hi everyone! OMG... it's been like forever since I last posted!!! Soo Sorry!!! Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it wasn't really leading you to any MAJOR points... till next time!! ~Feathers of the wind~***


	3. Alone

**~*A/N: 01/04/02- Hey everyone! happy New year! Sigh..I'm late with my updates... again. Sorry about that! how about I post a chapter!!! *people scream: YAY! Story time!* Enjoy!*~**

Love is Forever

**Chapter 3: Alone**

Hitomi awoke the next morning, after crying her eyes out yet again. She didn't even bother looking into the mirror- she knew what sight would behold her: red, puffy eyes, a puffy nose, overall a puffy face. But, all the same, she did have to go to school so she had better clean up. 

After washing her face, or rather dousing her head in ice-cold water, she did admit, she felt much better. Hitomi went downstairs to the kitchen to fix herself a quick breakfast before Yukari arrived to walk with her to school. School... A place Hitomi had come to greatly dislike. When Hitomi returned, people were always whispering behind her back, as if they thought she was deaf or something and couldn't hear them.

_I heard she was abducted by aliens...  
ha, don't you notice how weird she's acting? I bet she IS an alien now!_

Just the thought of that made Hitomi's face get red with anger again, but Yukari rang the doorbell, and she sighed... another day, another round of torture... without Van. 

***

Hitomi was in her 4th period class, thank god, the last class of the day. She quickly glanced at her watch, it seemed like she had already been her forever.... 2:00pm. damn... she still had another half-hour to go. She turned her attention back to the front of the class, where Mr. Yamatoshi was explaining some scientific figures. All of a sudden, he turned into... FOLKEN?! The rest of the scenery turned black, so now it was only her and Folken that were visible. 

"F-Folken? What are you... doing here?" Folken smiled kindly at her, with his white wings stretched out behind him. 

"I've come to warn you... you will be going back to Gaea soon." Hitomi couldn't believe her ears.

"That's great news! How can that be bad?" _I'll finally be able to see Van! _However, Folken's expression changed.

"You must not get attached to Van. That's all I can say." at the mention of not being able to be with Van, Hitomi's face fell. 

"Don't get attached to Van?...but.." Folken cut her off.

"I know... you have feelings for him. But this is critical! Do you understand Hitomi? Please, I am doing this for your safety... and Van's." Folken sadly explained. Hitomi nodded her head glumly. 

"thank you, Hitomi. Believe me, this is for the better." With that, the classroom turned back to normal, but this time, everyone was looking at her. 

"What?" Hitomi crossly asked. _Why are they all staring at me?!_

"Hey Kanzaki, are you gonna try to get into our heads by staring straight without blinking? Trying to use human knowledge to bring back to your alien colony?" A classmate jeered, and a few people snickered. Hitomi stared down at her desk. 

"Ms. Kanzaki, what was going on? I called your named and all you did was stare ahead." _he probably thinks I'm an alien too..._

"nothing sensei..." Hitomi mumbled, trying not to let the tears fall, as people were laughing again. After that, when the bell rang, Hitomi practically ran out of the school and took the train home without waiting for Yukari. 

About an hour or two later, Hitomi got a phone call... it was Yukari.

"Hitomi, where were you?! You didn't wait for me?" Hitomi held the phone away from her ear, because Yukari was yelling. 

"Look alright, maybe you would do the same if everyday everyone is making fun of you, saying you're an alien and maybe you would like to die everyday?" Hitomi hotly answered back. 

"yeah, well if maybe you didn't act so weird, people wouldn't think like that! Or have you maybe even thought about telling people about what happened?" Yukari had been trying to get Hitomi to tell her about what happened ever since Hitomi got back, but she refused to tell.

"These people would NEVER understand! All they'd do is make more fun of me, and then direct me to a shrink!" Hitomi yelled. She couldn't believe the way she was reacting... she'd never yelled that much at Yukari before. 

"They wouldn't understand? not even me?! I'm supposed to be your best friend! You're so lucky you even HAVE a friend, with the way you're acting!" That comment really just confirmed what Hitomi thought all along. 

"Oh, so you admit it then? You think I am crazy, just like everyone else? well, some friend you are!" Hitomi yelled in between sobs and slammed down the phone. 

"great... so now I have no one to turn to. I'm.. all alone." Hitomi slumped to the floor, curled up in a little ball crying now for everything in the world she had lost. _Van! Van!! Please talk to me! I'm so alone... I miss you! I wish I had never left...please Van, don't shut me out just like everyone else... you're not like anyone I've ever met... you're so much better than the rest of them... they don't know what it's like to be alone..._

**~* A/N: aww... that was pretty mean of me to write that... but hey! it's part of the story, so deal w/ it! LOL... Please R&R!!! ~Feathers of the wind~***


	4. Is it really you?

**~*A/N: hi hi! Wow! Good reviews!!! So.. should I let you have some more to read?? Yeah, sure why not!! Enjoy! ~Feathers of the wind~***

Love is Forever

**Chapter 4: Is it really you?**

By dinner time, Hitomi felt even worse than before, now that she knew she was completely alone. At dinner, she so silent and didn't eat. Her parents thought she'd gone into some sort of pre-heart attack shock. She quickly ate once piece of chicken, then left the table.

"Even my parents probably hate me..." tears welled up into Hitomi's eyes. 

"Forget it! What's the point of even living anymore?! I can't do this anymore... I just can't..." Hitomi again curled into a ball in her room crying her eyes out for the second time that day. She lost her friends, her spirit, and... she lost Van. Suddenly, she stood up and went through her desk drawer and pulled out an exacto knife. She looked at the terribly sharp blade for a good 10 minutes before deciding to make the first move.

_"Van... if you can hear me.... just...don't be mad at me ok? I just want to tell you... I wish I never left you. I-I... just can't deal with life here on Earth anymore... it's too painful alone. Too painful without you. I'm probably about to do something I'll regret for eternity, but right now, I don't care. I'll be waiting for you."_

And with that, she swiftly cut her wrists with the knife. The knife quickly fell to her carpeted floor, as blood rapidly ran down her arms. Her head felt so dizzy, and her legs suddenly couldn't seem to hold her up anymore. She fell to the floor with only 4 words on her mind.

"Van I love you..." As the darkness closed in on her, Hitomi thought she could almost see Van flying towards her, like he did that day in the energist mine. He was smiling, and his gentle auburn eyes seemed to be calling to her. She closed her eyes with a smile on her face. 

_Van I love you..._

"Hitomi?" Van suddenly called out. Everyone in the room turned to look at him. 

"My lord? What did you just say?" An elderly advisor asked him with interest. It seemed like the King of Fanelia still hadn't gotten over that Mystic Moon woman, but they were trying to get him to marry other princesses. 

"uh... nothing. If you'll excuse me..." Van got up and left the room to get outside where he could think. He went to the place where his mind seemed to be at rest most... his Parents' and Folken's burial grounds with Escaflowne guarding them. 

Van closed his eyes and tried with all his might to get a connection to Hitomi. He frowned when he felt nothing there. He tried again, this time getting a glimpse of half closed emerald eyes. But that was all he could get. He felt a numb pain in his arms, he looked at them, but nothing was there. 

"Hitomi... what happened to you?" Van understood the pain in his arms when he heard Hitomi's message 3 seconds later.

_Van... if you can hear me.... just...don't be mad at me ok? I just want to tell you... I wish I never left you. I-I... just can't deal with life here on Earth anymore... it's too painful alone. Too painful without you. I'm probably about to do something I'll regret for eternity, but right now, I don't care. I'll be waiting for you. _Van cursed. He had once heard about people slitting their wrists to kill themselves, but why would Hitomi do that? 

Van's question was quickly answered, and a bright column of blue light appeared not more than 3 feet away from him. When the light dissipated, a bleeding figure lay on the ground. Van nearly choked. Hitomi's arms were almost completely covered in blood, but the weird thing was... she was smiling. Van had no idea how long she'd been lying like that, but he knew she'd be needing immediate medical care. But he couldn't take his eyes off her bleeding wrists... so she had tried killing herself. Why? Van tried to think of a way to stop the bleeding.

Van began ripping up his shirt, and tightly bound the strips of fabric around her wrists, then carried her into the castle. The Healer took one look at Hitomi, and quickly ushered Van out of the room. She didn't even bother asking who it was. As Van stood outside the doorway of the healer's ward, he kept wondering the same question: What was so terrible that made Hitomi try to take her own life? yes, he was happy Hitomi was back like his mother had said... however, it wasn't like how he'd expected. 

**~*A/N: people, please never try doing this. The way to get rid of problems is NEVER trying to kill yourself. I'm only using this scenario for a story. Anyway.... Hmm... where is this story leading?? LOL... you'll find out... ~Feathers of the wind~* **


	5. Awakenings

**~*A/N: TA DA!! Didn't I tell you guys I'd be back??? Hee hee... well, since I've had a... 2 month break from Escaflowne (and this story..) I think I have some pretty good ideas for this story. It might get a little Angsty, so if it does, forgive me! *^^* ~Feathers of the wind*~ 07.14.02**

Love is Forever

**Chapter 5: Awakenings**

The healer began to work carefully and quickly on Hitomi's wrist wounds. She had a disapproving look upon her face.

"Tsk, tsk... this little lass has a lot to deal with, I suppose." She muttered to herself. 

"It was a good thing Lord Van managed to get her here so quickly... she couldn't have cut her wrists more than 2 minutes before he brought her here.. luckily. If it had been any later.." The healer stopped to see if the bleeding had slowed or stopped any. Indeed, the cuts stopped bleeding, so the healer began to wrap her wrists up tightly using clean, white cloth strips. The healer then put away all the utensils and medications she'd been using, and opened the door to see Van waiting in front if it, right where she'd left him 2 hours ago. Smiling slightly, she said,

"It appears as if she is out of deep waters. You may see her if you like." Van was already inside the room, right at Hitomi's side. The healer blinked and shook her head, sighing.

"If you don't me asking, my Lord.. who is she?" Van looked up in surprise. 

"She's.. Hitomi Kanzaki, seeress of the Mystic Moon." The healer nodded, and looked at Hitomi thoughtfully.

"Any reason, you suspect, that she would attempt suicide?" Van's eyes dropped to look at Hitomi sleeping face. Slowly, he nodded slightly.

"Well, say it! I am a healer, and I need to know why, to make sure she doesn't do it again!" The healer barked. Van jumped, a little scared of the healer's tone. (A/N:heehee.. Van scared of an old woman?? *^^*)

"She..she said that she couldn't deal with her life anymore. I don't know exactly why, but it must've been terrible." Van mumbled, absently brushing aside a lock of her shoulder-length brown hair. The healer just looked at the touching scene, and knew that there was something between the two. The healer left the two alone without a word, but Van didn't even notice. Suddenly, Merle ran in.

"Lord Van! What happened to Hitomi?!" She practically yelled. 

"SSSHH!!" Van hissed, pointing at Hitomi's sleeping form. Merle immediately whispered a tiny "sorry", and stood beside him, looking over the sleeping girl. Even though Merle didn't show that she liked having Hitomi around, Merle felt worried for her friend. With sad eyes, she asked,

"Lord Van... why would she try to kill herself?" Van looked back at her, with his own eyes waterlogged. 

"That's the thing... I don't know." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_She felt like she was floating...in the air. _

_Hitomi opened her eyes, to be greeted with the view of the clouds and a nice blue sky. She smiled... She had finally left behind that awful world she used to call "home". The sky began to darken slightly, and Hitomi felt it starting to rain. _

_"Oh great.. even when I'm dead it starts raining!" She playfully complained. Then.. the sky turned an abnormal color... auburn. _

_"What the..." when Hitomi took a careful, closer look.. she noticed that the sky was Van's eyes. His brow was furrowed in worry and fear. She could see the two tiny wet tear-tracts that coursed down his cheeks. Van was crying._

_"He's crying.. not for me, I bet. I doubt my message ever reached him. I doubt he cares anymore anyway." As she thought this, the rain became more forceful, and heavier. Hitomi didn't know what was holding her up in the first place, but she could tell it wasn't going to be to hold her for much longer if the rain kept up. She didn't know why, but she just couldn't take her eyes off the tears that came down Van's face, trying to understand what was going on. Her mouth was unconsciously open, and a few drops of rain fell into her mouth. That's when she realized... it wasn't raining water. It was raining tears... Van's tears for her. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merle could see that Van was going to break down any second, and he hated anyone, even Merle, to see him cry. So she decided it would be best for her to leave him for a while.

"Lord Van, I think I'll go now... I hope she gets better. I hope you get better too." putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, she left the room, letting Van finally let his sorrow out. Van didn't make a sound, he only let the tears run freely from his eyes while he stared at Hitomi. He thought of all the times where they used to be reckless 15 year-olds, just running into trouble whenever it seemed most inconvenient. He thought of how Hitomi had always managed to be strong for everyone.. but now..

Looking down to Hitomi's sleeping face, he wondered what happened to the carefree spirit that used to course through Hitomi's veins. 

"God Hitomi... what happened to you? I don't understand." His hand was gently caressing her cheek, and that's when her eyes opened slowly...

Van was taken aback by the emerald depths that had always mesmerized and captured his soul. 

**~A/N: Hey! What did you think? Not a bad comeback after 2 months, eh?? -- I'm Canadian! heehee... Please R&R if you know what's good for you.. LOL. jk. ~Feathers of the wind *~**


	6. Not too close

**~*A/N: Aha.. I have a new chapter ready to go! :) I feel so proud! lol.. yeah ok, enough of this... ~Feathers of the wind*~ 07.14.02**

Love is Forever

**Chapter 6: Not too close **

The room was blurry, that was the first thing Hitomi noticed when she opened her eyes. It was rather dim, that much she could tell. She had a blink a few times before the room could possibly come back into proper focus. Then, her eyes opened wide and she gasped. 

It was him. He was here... and she was alive. Damn it all to hell. 

"Van.. is that you?" She could see Van's face was wet with tears, but his eyes were now shining with happiness. 

"Hitomi! You're ok!" Without thinking, he hugged her close. Hitomi immediately began to blush, but returned the hug. Suddenly she remembered what Folken had told her. 

_"You must not get attached to Van. That's all I can say"..._

Hitomi stopped hugging Van and tried to pull away a little, as much as she really wanted to just stay where she was, she couldn't. She'd learned to take things seriously in this world. Van on the other hand, was a little confused as to why she pulled away.

_Perhaps she's moved on... right. That would be why she tried to commit suicide..._

"Hitomi... are you sure everything is ok in your world?" Hitomi risked a quick glance at Van's face, which was now looking at her intently with worry and concern. Looking down at the bed sheets clutched in her fists, she quickly answered.

"yes. It's fine." Van bent down so that she would look him straight in the eye. 

"You're absolutely sure about that, are you?" Now Hitomi's eyes wandered around the room. 

"Uh huh." Van could tell he wasn't getting anywhere with this. Gently, yet firmly, he grabbed one of her bound wrists, earning him a surprised shriek. He held the wrist directly in front of her face and asked again,

"You're _absolutely_ sure that _everything_ is ok?" Hitomi could detect a hint of anger and impatience in his tone of voice. Hitomi whimpered slightly, staring at her bandaged wrist. She didn't say 'ok, yes...' or anything that had to do with confirming his question. Van could tell she was going to cry soon if he didn't explain, so he gently set her wrist down, and sat in front of her, trying to get her to look at him. 

"Hitomi.. please. I'm worried about you. You almost died, because you slit your wrists. I'm pretty sure that you know, as much as I do, that slitting wrists is a suicide attempt. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Van felt as if he was speaking to a 3 year old child, trying to not shout, or yell. It was taking a lot of his self control. 

Hitomi sat quietly for a few more moments, then answered so quietly, that Van almost didn't hear her.

"I hate my life. And life hates me. It's rather fitting, isn't it?" Hitomi chuckled bitterly. Van was confused. When they were younger, Hitomi had always seemed so full of life, and seemed to bring that feeling to everyone around her. Usually, it was him that gave the whole "I-hate-life" feeling to those near him. Now, it was the exact opposite. 

"Hitomi, what happened on the Mystic Moon, while you've been gone?" Van hated to see her upset, and this was beyond upset. She was desperate. 

"Nothing happened. When I returned... everyone would stay away from me. I would try to talk to someone, and they would run away or say some really awful things. My only friend was Yukari. But now, even she hates me." Hitomi paused, remembering the phone conversation she'd had earlier. 

"I was so alone, Van. I tried to talk with you, but the link wouldn't work. I felt.. abandoned. Like no one really cared anymore, if they ever did in the first place." Van couldn't believe what he was hearing. Somehow, Hitomi had gotten the idea that on one cared about her at all.

"Hitomi, you know that's not true." Hitomi looked at him defiantly. 

"Oh, I do, do I? It's hard to tell when people are calling me 'freak', 'alien' or any other retarded name they can come up with. You don't know what it's like to feel that everyone's talking behind your back and whispering about you. You don't know what it's like to be totally alone!" Hitomi cried, falling back onto the bed, facedown on the pillow as she sobbed.

Little did she know, Van did know how it had felt to be alone, and singled out. Had she forgotten that he was of a cursed race? Or had she still thought of the wings as being 'heavenly'? He gently stroked her back and hair, while she cried. 

"Hitomi, I do know how that felt. People were always talking about how as a draconian, I was a curse. I know the kind of pain you are in... remember when I lost my family? Trust me, that not like going on a picnic." Not lifting her head, Hitomi muttered,

"At least you had Merle to turn to. I don't have anyone." 

"What about your parents?" Van questioned, almost afraid to hear that they had died or something. If her parents were still alive they would surely care, wouldn't they? Apparently not, as Hitomi almost laughed.

"Yeah right. Trying to tell them I went to another world and am still human would be like getting Dilandau to love you." Van pretended to think that over.. 'nope, I guess that doesn't work,' he thought. 

"Look Van, my parents just aren't the kind of people that I would talk to about this. I've already tried that, and they sent me to a psychiatrist."

"Well... there's me." Van meekly replied, not looking at Hitomi in the eye, afraid that she would laugh at that too. Hitomi smiled a little, and put her hand atop of Vans.

"I know Van.. I know. Thank you." She whispered, meaning every bit of it. Van then had a little bit of an idea.

"Hitomi, since you are on Gaea where everyone likes you and knows you, why don't you think of it as a 'vacation'?" 

"Sure Van.. I would like that."

****************************************

**~*A/N: Hey! I think this is the first time I've actually posted two chapters at once! What did you all think? Well, I've got a little poem for you:**

**Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
if you liked my story,  
please leave a review!!!**

***^^*... please review!! ~* Feathers of the wind*~**


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